Memo on Foul Language


Subject: Foul Language

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughtout the project have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with other employees.  Due to complaints received
from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language
will no longer be tolerated.

Nonetheless, we do realize the critical importance of idividuals being 
able to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow 
employees.  Therefore, a list of code phrase replacements has been 
compiled so proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an 
effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.

OLD PHRASE                           PREFERED NEW PHRASE
-------------------------------      -------------------------------
No f*cking way!                      I'm certain that's not feasible.

You've got to be sh*tting me.        Really?

Tell someone who gives a f*ck.       Perhaps you should check with...

Ask me if I give a f*ck.             Of course I'm concerned.

It's not my f*cking problem.         I wasn't involved with that project.

What the f*ck?                       Interesting.

F*ck it, it won't work.              I'm not sure I can implement this.

Why the f*ck didn't you tell         I'll try to schedule that.
me that sooner?

When the f*ck do you expect          Perhaps I can work late.
me to do this?

Who the f*ck cares?                  Are you sure this is a problem?

He's got his head up his a**.        He's not familiar with the problem.

Eat sh*t!                            You don't say.

Eat sh*t and die.                    Excuse me?

Eat sh*t and die motherf*cker.       Excuse me, Sir?

What the f*ck do they want           They weren't happy with it?
from my life?

Kiss my a**.                          So you'd like my help with it?

F*ck it, I'm on salary.               I don't think you understand.

Shove it up your a**.                 I love a "challenge".

Who the hell died and made            You want me to take care
you the boss?                         of this.

Blow me.                              I see.

Blow yourself.                        Do you see?

Another f*cking meeting?              Yes, we really should discuss this.

I really don't give a sh*t.           I don't think it will be a problem.

He's a f*cking pr*ck.                 He's somewhat insensitive.

She's a ball-breaking b*tch.          She's an aggressive go-getter.

You don't know what the f*ck          I think you could use
you're doing.                         more training.

This place is all f*cked up.          We're a little disorganized.