Computer Language


. . . . every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS . . . Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE  missing - Insert cup and press any key.

Buy a Pentium  586/90 so you can reboot faster.

2 + 2 + 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.

My software never has bugs.  It just develops random features.



Best file compression utility around:  "DEL  *.* " = 100% compression

The definition of an upgrade:  Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM  halted. . .Cereal Port not Responding.

The name is Baud. . . . James Baud.

Buffers =20  Files = 15  2nd down, 5 yards to go, 4th quarter.

Access denied -- nah, nah, nah, na, nah, nah.

C:\ Bad command or file name;  Go stand in the corner

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename?"

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Backups?  We don't *NEED* no stinkin' backups!

E Pluribus Modem

. . . . File not found.  Should I fake it  (Y/N)

Ethernet (n).  something used to catch the Etherbunny.

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

An error?  Impossible!  My modem is error correcting.

CONGRESS.SYS  Corrupted.  Re-boot Washington D.C.  (Y/N)

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium

SENILE.COM  found. . . . Out of Memory

Who's General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

Ultimate office automation:  networked coffee

RAM disk is "not" an installation procedure.

Shell to DOS. . . .Come in DOS. . . . do you copy?  Shell to DOS

All computers wait at the same speed

Definition:  Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors