Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A: The 1984 Hide and Seek
World Champion.

Q: How does a blond kill a fish? A: She drowns it.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell,
as she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull
the pin and throw it back.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her
ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?  
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days? A: It
said cook it for half an hour per pound and she weighed 125 lbs.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? A: She heard that
the drinks were on the house.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes? A: Elvis has
been sighted.

Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already
on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde high-5? A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: She
kept throwing out all the "W"s.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She
found out Big Ben is only a clock.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's
white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the same computer?  
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde? A: There is
a stamp on it.

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
Blonde? A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
   The nympho  says "Are you done already?"  
   The blonde says "Beige....I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it

Q: What do you call a smart blond?   A: A golden retriever.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on
the other side.
A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to
think, I'm blonde!"

BLONDE #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" BLONDE #2: "No, who wrote
Did you hear about the blonde mom who kept an icepack on her chest to
keep the milk fresh?
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of 
their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder.  It's starting 
to rain and the top is down!
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign
that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to
herself "oh well," and turned around and drove home.