Bill Gates goes to HELL

 Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being
 sized up by St. Peter.

 "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure where to send
 you. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in
 almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows
 '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case; I'm
 going to let you decide whether you want to go to Heaven or Hell."

 Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"

 St. Peter: "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will
 help your decision."

 Bill: "Fine, but where should I go first?"

 St. Peter: "I'll leave that up to you."

 "Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

 So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
 waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water,
 laughing, and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature was
 perfect. Bill was very pleased.

 "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see

 "Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.

 Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
 harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought
 for a minute, and rendered his decision.

 "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

 "Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."  So Bill Gates went to Hell.

 Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see
 how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a
 wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and
 tortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

 Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
 "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I
 can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with
 the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?"

 "That was a demo," replied St. Peter.