Amusing Newspaper Headlines These are real headlines posted in real newspapers! Read them carefully! 1. Include your Children when Baking Cookies 2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Plane Crash, Expert Says 3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 7. Farmer Bill Dies in House 8. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 9. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? 10. Stud Tires Out 11. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 12. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 13. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again 14. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands 15. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms 16. Eye Drops off Shelf 17. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids 18. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead 19. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim 20. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 21. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax 22. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told 23. Miners Refuse to Work after Death 24. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 25. Stolen Painting Found by Tree 26. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies 27. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter 28. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years 29. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One 30. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84 31. War Dims Hope for Peace 32. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While 33. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 34. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 35. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge 36. Deer Kill 17,000 37. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead 38. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge 39. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 40. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 41. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 42. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy 43. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire 44. Brisish Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply 45. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood 46. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees 47. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 48. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies 49. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing 50. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing 51. Air Head Fired 52. Steals Clock, Faces Time 53. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff 54. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni 55. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board 56. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 57. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction