You might be a redneck Jedi if... - Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. - You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's FarmStrawberry Hill. - You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth. - At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. - There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder. - You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. - You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. - You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. - You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really goodsheets. - A peaceful meditation session is one without gas. - You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE Force. - Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?" - You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. - You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit. - The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. - Wookies are offended by your B.O. - You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. - You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. - You have ever used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. - Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the darkside, it'll be a hoot." - You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbeque grill to light. - All those mutants in the bar at Mos Eisley are your relatives. - You are related to most of them in more than one way at once. - Your favorite leisure-time activity is 'droid-tipping. - Your pal Yoda has a still out back. - When Darth Vader informs you of his diabolical plan to destroy your planet, your response is, "Well, kiss my grits." - You have two or three nonfunctional 'droids sitting on your front porch. - You live in a converted Jawa crawler up on blocks. - You figure Grand Moff Tarkin'll look the other way as long as he gets his cut. - You and your buddies like to tool around at night looking for Sand people to beat up. - You think Princess Leia's hairstyles are conservative. - Luke's call-sign is Red Five; Biggs' call-sign is Red Three; your call-sign is Red Man. - Since you can't open the window, your X-wing has a spittoon. - Your landspeeder has chromed headers. - The Millenium Falcon looks like just the ticket for smuggling that 'shine into Andromeda galaxy. - The master's wisdom is, "Do. Or do not. But don't git caught." - You've spent a lot of time in Empire prison cells, but mostly for being drunk and disorderly. - So what if Princess Leia *is* your sister?