You Might be a Geek if... Author: Kevin InscoeIf your computer costs more than your car... You MIGHT be a geek. If your idea of a good date is dinner and a .MOVie (or .MPeGie)... You MIGHT be a geek. If you mow your lawn and find a VT100... You MIGHT be a geek. If you have a bumper sticker on your car that reads: "A BAD DAY PROGRAMMING IS BETTER THAN A GOOD DAY GOLFING"... You MIGHT be a geek. If you take your wife out to see "Disclosure" and later complain you couldn't really enjoy the movie because laser printers don't sound like dot matrix printers... You MIGHT be a geek. If you knew that Linus Torvalds now has an Alpha, Dilberts e-mail address, remember how to access the Western Digital RLL controller diagnostics from debug.com, who Kibo is, about green cards, Canter & Siegel and spam but didn't know the folks across the street have had 4 kids in 2 years... You MIGHT be a geek. If you put emoticons on your memos... You MIGHT be a geek. If you type-ahead at the ATM machine... You MIGHT be a geek. If you ask at parties, "What's your URL?"... You MIGHT be a geek. If you wire your computer to your CD player, bread maker and garage door opener when using the remote would be easier... You MIGHT be a geek. If you point out bugs and design flaws in the POS system to the cashier... You MIGHT be a geek. If you know the names of all the big software company CEO's but don't know the names of any of your nephews... You MIGHT be a geek. If you hook your cable TV into your computer so you don't miss any important shows... You MIGHT be a geek. If you rewired your house with category 5 twisted pair because your wife thinks coax is so tacky looking... You MIGHT be a geek. If when watching "Jurassic Park" you were annoyed by that girl who said "This is a UNIX system...I know UNIX"... You MIGHT be a geek. If you knew she was running FSN instead... You MIGHT be a geek. If you knew what FSN even is... You MIGHT be a geek. If after a long day at work you spend more time with your computer than you do your wife... You MIGHT be a geek. ( A divorced one at that) (Jim Crim, jec@ctinet.net) If you need to use sunblock to avoid CRT burns on your face... You MIGHT be a geek. (Gil Young, gjy@crc.com) If you use SPF 120 when you go outside... You MIGHT be a geek. If you think "Silicon Implants" means installing a math co-processor... You MIGHT be a geek. (Troy Hill, troy_hill@mail.crc.com) If you know that RAM DISK is not an installation procedure... You MIGHT be a geek. If you stay up till 3am so you can get a good FTP site... You MIGHT be a geek. If you send jokes via EMail. You MIGHT be a geek. (Garret Red-Fish-and-Legend-in-his-own-time Gordon, garret_gordon@mail.crc.com) If you hear about this NEW, DEADLY, WIDESPREAD, UNSTOPPABLE E-mail virus that will crush your computer called GOOD TIMES, and immediately shrug it off, You MIGHT be a geek. (Gil Young, gjy@crc.com) If you drive a moped to work with a leather jacket that reads, "Don't I look awesome on my hogg!!!" You MIGHT be a geek. (Jim Crim, jec@ctinet.net) If you have contributed more than two jokes to the "YMBAG" list, You MIGHT be a geek. (Eddie "And-he-has" Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com) If your baby's first words were "Mama", "Dada", and "Sysadmin" You MIGHT be a geek. (Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com) If you have a UPS on your television, You MIGHT be a geek. (Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com) If you have a UPS on your clock radio, You MIGHT be a geek. (Apologies to K. Korb) (Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com) If you configure the UNIX server to call your pager at 5am because your too cheap to buy an alarm clock (and besides it's cool!) You MIGHT be a geek. If you receive an e-mail from Kibo... You MIGHT be a geek. If you compile programs by doing % cat /dev/console | cc You MIGHT be a geek. If you have your email address as your personalized license tag number... You MIGHT be a geek. (Dave Goodson, dave_goodson@mail.crc.com) If you have memorized your Drivers License in HEX... You MIGHT be a geek. (Kevin 208-203-3E-194-0 Inscoe, kevin@inscoe.org) If you receive more e-mail then postal mail... You MIGHT be a geek. If you know that ROT-13 is not a movie rating... You MIGHT be a geek. If you *KNOW* where the "easter eggs" are... You MIGHT be a geek. If you maintain all your clocks at within precisely +/- ~10 usecs of the government's cesium-atomic clock time (even the microwave)... You MIGHT be a geek (Kevin "Resident Horrologist" Inscoe, kevin@inscoe.org) If someone stops you after speaking for 20 minutes and says: "Gee, I just wanted to know how to format this floppy disk!?... [Do I REALLY nead a C compiler for this??] You MIGHT be a geek If you cross-link the tmp file system with the null device... You MIGHT be a geek If you yawn while reading the 2600 Magazine... You MIGHT be a geek If you missed dinner because of a nagging bug... You MIGHT be a geek If you missed work because of a nagging bug... You MIGHT be a geek If you missed your wedding because of a nagging bug... You MIGHT be a geek If you missed your life because of a nagging bug... You MIGHT be a geek If you make kernal patches to avoid program bugs... You MIGHT be a geek If things like clean clothes and personal hygene get in the way of your quality in life... You MIGHT be a geek If you use computer parts (especially slot covers) as sliding devices while moving furnature or appliances that aren't related to computers... You MIGHT be a geek Please send your additions to kevin@inscoe.org! Copyright @1995 Kevin P. Inscoe (kevin@inscoe.org) & Eddie Offermann (eoffermann@mail.crc.com) "Who is General Failure and why is he reading my harddrive??"