You Might be a Geek if...
Author: Kevin Inscoe
If your computer costs more than your car...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If your idea of a good date is dinner and a .MOVie (or .MPeGie)...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you mow your lawn and find a VT100...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you have a bumper sticker on your car that reads:
"A BAD DAY PROGRAMMING IS BETTER THAN A GOOD DAY GOLFING"...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you take your wife out to see "Disclosure" and later complain you
couldn't really enjoy the movie because laser printers don't sound
like dot matrix printers...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you knew that Linus Torvalds now has an Alpha, Dilberts e-mail address,
remember how to access the Western Digital RLL controller diagnostics from
debug.com, who Kibo is, about green cards, Canter & Siegel and spam but
didn't know the folks across the street have had 4 kids in 2 years...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you put emoticons on your memos...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you type-ahead at the ATM machine...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you ask at parties, "What's your URL?"...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you wire your computer to your CD player,
bread maker and garage door opener when using
the remote would be easier...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you point out bugs and design flaws in the
POS system to the cashier...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you know the names of all the big software
company CEO's but don't know the names of any
of your nephews...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you hook your cable TV into your computer so
you don't miss any important shows...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you rewired your house with category 5 twisted
pair because your wife thinks coax is so tacky
looking...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If when watching "Jurassic Park" you were annoyed by
that girl who said "This is a UNIX system...I know UNIX"...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you knew she was running FSN instead...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you knew what FSN even is...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If after a long day at work you spend more time with your
computer than you do your wife...
You MIGHT be a geek. ( A divorced one at that)
(Jim Crim, jec@ctinet.net)
If you need to use sunblock to avoid CRT burns on your face...
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Gil Young, gjy@crc.com)
If you use SPF 120 when you go outside...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you think "Silicon Implants" means installing a math
co-processor...
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Troy Hill, troy_hill@mail.crc.com)
If you know that RAM DISK is not an installation procedure...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you stay up till 3am so you can get a good FTP site...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you send jokes via EMail.
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Garret Red-Fish-and-Legend-in-his-own-time Gordon, garret_gordon@mail.crc.com)
If you hear about this NEW, DEADLY, WIDESPREAD, UNSTOPPABLE E-mail virus that
will crush your computer called GOOD TIMES, and immediately shrug it off,
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Gil Young, gjy@crc.com)
If you drive a moped to work with a leather jacket that reads,
"Don't I look awesome on my hogg!!!"
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Jim Crim, jec@ctinet.net)
If you have contributed more than two jokes to the "YMBAG" list,
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Eddie "And-he-has" Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
If your baby's first words were "Mama", "Dada", and "Sysadmin"
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
If you have a UPS on your television,
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
If you have a UPS on your clock radio,
You MIGHT be a geek. (Apologies to K. Korb)
(Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
If you configure the UNIX server to call your pager at 5am
because your too cheap to buy an alarm clock (and besides
it's cool!)
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you receive an e-mail from Kibo...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you compile programs by doing
% cat /dev/console | cc
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you have your email address as your personalized license tag
number...
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Dave Goodson, dave_goodson@mail.crc.com)
If you have memorized your Drivers License in HEX...
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Kevin 208-203-3E-194-0 Inscoe, kevin@inscoe.org)
If you receive more e-mail then postal mail...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you know that ROT-13 is not a movie rating...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you *KNOW* where the "easter eggs" are...
You MIGHT be a geek.
If you maintain all your clocks at within precisely +/- ~10 usecs of
the government's cesium-atomic clock time (even the microwave)...
You MIGHT be a geek
(Kevin "Resident Horrologist" Inscoe, kevin@inscoe.org)
If someone stops you after speaking for 20 minutes and says:
"Gee, I just wanted to know how to format this floppy disk!?...
[Do I REALLY nead a C compiler for this??]
You MIGHT be a geek
If you cross-link the tmp file system with the null device...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you yawn while reading the 2600 Magazine...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you missed dinner because of a nagging bug...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you missed work because of a nagging bug...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you missed your wedding because of a nagging bug...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you missed your life because of a nagging bug...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you make kernal patches to avoid program bugs...
You MIGHT be a geek
If things like clean clothes and personal hygene get in the way
of your quality in life...
You MIGHT be a geek
If you use computer parts (especially slot covers) as sliding devices
while moving furnature or appliances that aren't related to computers...
You MIGHT be a geek
Please send your additions to kevin@inscoe.org!
Copyright @1995 Kevin P. Inscoe (kevin@inscoe.org) & Eddie Offermann
(eoffermann@mail.crc.com)
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my harddrive??"