You Know You're too Serious About Computers...

   * If you did an error-free installation of Windows 95.
   * When your modem starts smoking.
   * If no one can reach you by phone since your computer is always online.
   * If you log-off your system because it's time to go to work.
   * If you call in sick because you found a great new WWW site.
   * If you can type your top 10 favorite Web sites, by heart.
   * If you can locate a particular home page without using a search engine.
   * If you can write your own html page.
   * If you can access more than 20 erotic no-pay sites.
   * If you download more than 20Mb of from a binary newsgroup, in one
   * If while reading a magazine, you look for the Zoom icon for a better
     look at a photograph.
   * You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced
     with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.
   * If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on
     the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses.
   * When someone tells you to remember something, and you look for
     File/Save command.
   * When you discover there is no little car icon with a forward arrow on
     the dashboard of your car, to make it go.
   * When you think the File/Kill command should apply to your system
   * When you find it easier to dial-up the National Weather Service
     Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window.
   * When you start using phrases like:
   * If you have a heart attack when you forgot to pay your phone bill and
     receive a "pending disconnection of service" notice.
   * When you order most of what you buy... online.
   * If your fingers quit moving because you've been online for 36 hours.
   * When you find yourself engaged to someone you've never actually met;
     except through e-mail.
   * When you log-off from a session in your favorite newsgroup... and your
     log reads: Online time: 56 hours 24 minutes.
   * If your net provider suggests you try a competitor, because you're
     exceeding 300 hours a month, connect time.
   * When you add your third modem and dedicated phone line.
   * You access Microsoft's Web page every Sunday morning for Brother Bill's
   * When that 112Gb hard drive is full.
   * If 133 Mhz is simply too slow.
   * When your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.
   * If you have an "online" light installed on your car to tell you when
     the engine is running.
   * When you discover that in order to drive your car somewhere, you do not
     enter an http:// or ftp:// address.
   * If you can actually talk to the computers in your new car - and
     understand what they say.
   * When you modify the programming of your car's computers and actually
     get better mileage.
   * When you can access the Net - via your portable and cellular phone.
   * If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone
     in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect
     it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who cut you off.
   * If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.
   * When you put a CD-ROM in your car's player.
   * When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very
     disappointed to find it's on TV.
   * If every sentence you utter begins with, "On the Net..."
   * If you put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner of
   * If you have your e-mail address printed on your stationary.
   * When you insist on seeing the movie "The Net" - for the 63rd time.
   * If magazines like "InternetWorld" are of greater interest than
     "Playboy" or "Playgirl".
   * If you maintain more than 6 e-mail addresses.
   * If you use more than 20 passwords.
   * If you set up your own Web page.
   * If you set up a Web page for each of your kids... and your pets.
   * If, instead of a phone number, you ask someone for their e-mail
   * If you don't know anyone who DOESN'T have an e-mail addresses.
   * If, to you, 'safe sex' means doing it online.
   * If you convince your mom that she HAS to get online because e-mail is
     so much cheaper than long distance phone charges.
   * If you can write a list like this.
   * If you can relate to a list like this.

(c) JOKEMASTER, 1995From: