Uzi vs. The Computer
Yossie Silverman (Yossie @ Bitnic)

The following advertisement appeared in one of the munition magazines:

The Guy on the Right Doesn't Stand a Chance. The guy on the right has the
Osborne 1, a fully functional computer system in a portable package the size of
a briefcase. The guy on the left has an Uzi submachine gun concealed in his
attache case. Also in the case are four fully loaded, 32 round clips of 125
grain 9 mm ammunition.

The owner of the Uzi is going to get more tactical firepower delivered -- and
delivered on target -- in less time and with less effort.

All for $795. It's inevitable.

If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 -- or any personal
computer -- he's the one whose in trouble. One round from an Uzi can zip
through ten inches of solid pine wood, so you can imagine what it will do to
structural foam acrylic and sheet aluminum. In fact, detachable magazines for
the Uzi are available in 25-, 32-, and 40-round capacities, so you can take out
an entire office full of Apple II or IBM Personal Computers tied into Ethernet
or other local area networks.

What about the new 16-bit computers, like the Lisa and Fortune? Even with the
Winchester backup they're no match for the Uzi. One quick burst and they'll
find what UNIX means.

Make your commanding officer proud. Get an Uzi -- and come home a winner in the
fight for office automatic weapons.