Top 20 Cool Things About a Car that Goes Faster than the Speed of Light

 20> Sleep 'til noon.  Still get to work by 8:00am!
 19> Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
 18> Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most 
 17> Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna 
 16> Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to 
 15> No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
 14> Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
 13> LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
 12> You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black 
     hole driving home from work.
 11> You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear 
     horizontal stripes.
 10> That deer in your headlights is actually behind you. 
  9> Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose 
     a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.
  8> Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in 
     Quantum Physics.
  7> Bugs never see you comin'.
  6> You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
  5> Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan 
     "It's there before you order or it's free!"
  4> Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to 
     not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.
  3> License plate: "Me=mc2"
  2> Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they 
     land in last week! 

       and the Number 1 Cool Thing About a Car that
          Goes Faster than the Speed of Light...

  1> Chicks dig it.