Things you'll never hear a redneck say:

You can't feed that to the dog.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

We're vegetarians.

Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.

Deer heads detract from the decor.

I just can't abide the serial comma.

Spitting is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.


She's too old to be wearing that bikini.

I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.