Things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in Alabama... 1.Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders 2.Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle 3.Occasionally you'd bring up a winder that was covered with a Hefty bag 4.Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw" 5.Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos" 6.The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse 7.Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!" 8.Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart" 9.PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt" 10.Microsoft's programming tools would be "Visual Basic" and "Vishul C++" 11.Winders 95 logo would incorporate a Confederate Flag 12.Microsoft Word would be just that: one word 13.Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers. 14.New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!" 15.Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz" 16.Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am 17.Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse 18.Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver 19.Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire 20.Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard 21.Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator 22.Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates 23.Redman plug'n'play interface. 24.They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny would be the one after that. 25.Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program manager. 26.Instructions for use would include "mash the control key."