The Top 15 Little-Known Effects of El Nino

15> Weather Channel temporarily passes Knitting Channel in ratings.

14> During concert, Hanson breaks out into a raucous version of  

13> Tori Spelling, confused by lack of sunshine, goes into  

12> Unusually high tides in silicon implants responsible for  
    delaying production of Barb Wire 2.  

11> Jacko gets a "Woodrow", if you know what I mean.  
    (Oops!  Wrong kind of El Nino.)  

10> Instead of flying south, Canadian geese just cross the border
    to shop.  

 9> Home Shopping Network's ratings plummet as trailer park  
    residents nationwide seek higher ground.  

 8> Increased moisture in air means William Shatner needs less  
    SuperGlue to hold his hair down.  

 7> In a first for a weather pattern, El Nino signs with Nike for
    a cool 36 million.  

 6> Groundhog comes out of his hole on Feb. 2 and -- ZAP --  the
    only thing left of his hairy little butt is the smell of burnt fur
    and ozone.  

 5> Matt Lauer responds to everything Katie Couric says with a  
    booming "Claro Que Si!"  

 4> Minor changes in Earth's magnetic field allow Jennifer Aniston
    to complete a thought.  

 3> Rash of "muskrat" sightings in Vegas turns out to be thousands
    of toupees floating in from Hollywood.  

 2> Confused British nannies begin swinging babies  
    counter-clockwise instead of clockwise.  

 and the Number 1 Little-Known Effect of El Nino...  

 1> "Ten inches and rising" now refers to flood waters.