The Rules of Bedroom Golf

1.Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one
  club for 2 balls.

2.Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3.Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get your club in the hole and
  keep your balls out of the hole.

4.For the most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
  Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5.Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
  damage to the hole.

6.The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
    course owner is satisfied that play is complete.  Failure to do so
    may result in denial of permission to play the course again.

7.It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
  arrival at the course.  The experienced player will normally take
  time to admire the entire course with special attention to
  well-formed bunkers.

8.Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played
  or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played.
  Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment
  for this reason.

9.Players are encouraged to bring proper raingear for their own

10.Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly
   scheduled, particularly when a course is being played for the first
   time.  Previous players have been known to become irate if they
   discover someone else playing on what they consider their private

11.Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all
   times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to
   be temporarily under repair.  More advanced players will find
   alternative means of play when this is the case.

12.Slow play is encouraged.  However, players should be prepared to
   proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course's

13.It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play
   the same hole several times in one match.

14.Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before
   playing the back nine.

15.The course owners will be the sole judge of who is the best player.

16.Balls must be washed and dried before starting play.

17.Divots must be replaced.

18.Reaching into the hole to retrieve balls is not permitted

19.You are only allowed to move your balls if this course is in bad

20.Don't let your balls bounce around in the cart.  This can cause
   severe damage.

21.Not all golf bags are safe.  Purchase a bag that keeps the club
   shafts from accidentally being chaffed.

22.Please refrain from teeing up your balls.  This can be an unfair
   advantage in the course of normal play.

23.Keep your hat on.  The sun on the course can beat down hard.

24.Don't forget to wear your glove.  Excessive use of the club can
   make the hands become raw.

25.Always keep one eye open.  ASSBEASTS could be waiting in their
   golf-carts to attack you and steal your balls.