Techical Support staff should feel at home.

It was reasoned that the Technical Support staff would
be most productive if they were allowed to enjoy some
of the ammenities that they enjoy while working on their
computers at home.

Therefore, beginning January 1, 1998:

	1. All technical support staff will be allowed
	   to sit at their workstations naked. However,
	   employees will be held responsible for any
	   skid marks left on their chairs.

	   In light of this new policy, the old
	   "pull my finger" trick will no longer be

	2. Staff will no longer be required to remove
	   the following items from their workstation
	   at the end of each shift:
		Pizza boxes
		Soda bottles
		Hostess snack wrappers
		Fast-food condiments
		AOL 1.44 Mb disks (reformatted)
		Printouts from alt.binaries.*
		Photocopied O'Reilly Nutshell Books
		Serial/Parallel adapters and IDE cables
		Passwords on Post-It pads

	3. E-mail bombs, ping floods and IRC wars 
	   will now be permitted.

	4. Quake will now be served from the main
	   Sparc machine instead of the 486DX-33.

	   In order to do this, SMTP and POP3 will
	   be replaced by UUCP (on the 486DX-33).	   

	5. Smoking will once again be allowed in
	   the equipment room.  

	   Non-Smokers will be encouraged to 
	   "act more like good team players."

	6. Rimshots in the Men's Room will no
	   longer be frowned upon by Management.

	   Rimshots in the Ladies Room are still

	7. Soft music in the background is OUT.
	   Loud music in the foreground is IN.

	8. Performance reviews will no longer
	   address issues related to foul
	   language, questionable moral conduct,
	   or bathing habits.

	9. New Hours Of Operation:
	   10 PM - 5 AM