Some software humor
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found 
that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other 
applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning 
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention 
of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the 
documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be 
expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 
installs itself such that it is always lauched at system initialization 
where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some 
applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no 
longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected 
(even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 
provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as 
MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance 
seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0. - A "Don't remind 
me again" button
- Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0
be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of 
cache and other  system resources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow 
the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by 
sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. 
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You 
must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing 
bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend 
have conficts over shared use of the  I/O port. You think they would have 
fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program 
for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the 
application in the system.
Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup 
little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
*****  BUG WARNING  ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before 
uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the 
uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming 
insufficient resources.
*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***************
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system 
and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, 
beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry 
viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an 
anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be 
downloaded from the UseNet.