Shit Happens - in various world religions
TAOISM:  Shit happens.
CONFUCIANISM:  Confucious say, "Shit happens".
HINDUISM:  This shit has happened before.
BUDDHISM:  If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
JUDAISM:  Why does shit always happen to US?
CATHOLICISM:  If shit happens, you deserved it.
PROTESTANTISM:  If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
ISLAM:  That shit happens is the will of Allah.
EXISTENTIALISM:  Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
JEHOVAH's WITNESSES:  No shit happens until Armaggedon.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:  When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.

REFORM JUDAISM:  Got any Kaopectate?

SECULAR HUMANISM:  Shit evolves.
NEWAGE:  That's not shit, it's feldspar.

WICCA:  If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
ZEN:  (What is the sound of shit happening?)