Shit Happens - in various world religions TAOISM: Shit happens. CONFUCIANISM: Confucious say, "Shit happens". HINDUISM: This shit has happened before. BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US? CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserved it. PROTESTANTISM: If shit happens, it happens to someone else. ISLAM: That shit happens is the will of Allah. EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is. JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armaggedon. CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray. REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate? SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves. NEWAGE: That's not shit, it's feldspar. WICCA: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more. ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)