Political Computer Viruses

NEW VIRUS ALERT - Immediately scan your computer for the following viruses!
PAT BUCHANON VIRUS:  Your system works fine, but complains loudly about 
foreign software.
COLIN POWELL VIRUS:  Makes its prescence known, but doesn't do anything.
 Secretly you wish it would.
HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS:  Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a
later; in another directory.
O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS:  You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but you 
just can't prove it.
BOB DOLE VIRUS:  Could be virulent, but its been around too long to be much

of a threat.
STEVE FORBES VIRUS:  All files reported as the same size.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS:  This virus doesn't horse around, warns you of impending

attack.  Once if by LAN, twice if by C.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS:  Never identifies itself as a "virus", but
refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".
ROSS PEROT VIRUS:  Activates every component in your system, just before
whole thing quits.
TED TURNER VIRUS:  Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS:  Thier is sumthing rong with yur kumputer, but ewe cant 
figyur outt watt!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS:  Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS:  Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people 
really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS:  Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little 
units, each of which does practically nothing; but all of which claim to be

the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS:  60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of 
tlhe time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error).
TEXAS VIRUS:  Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS:  Takes a coupe of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS:  The computer locks up and the screen splits in half 
with the same message appearing on each side.  The message says that the 
blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS:  You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS:  Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own 
PBS VIRUS:  Your program stops running every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS:  Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy; then self-destructs
to surface at shopping malls and service statiions across rural America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS:  Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
NIKE VIRUS:  Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS:  Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
and shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS:  Your program can never be found again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS:  Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
STAR TREK VIRUS:  Invades your system in places where no virus has gone 
HEALTH CARE VIRUS:  Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and 
sends you a bill for $4,500.00.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS:  It starts by boldly stating; "Read my docs...No new 
files!"  on the screen.  It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your 
hard drive with new files, then blames it on tlhe Congressional Virus.