Fun with the UNIX Shell


     Now for some fun things you can do with your unix account.
     
     You say your bored...well try these fun and neat things with your 
     shell acount or unix login...
     
     
     Unix-Jokes
     
     
     % make fire
     Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop. 
     
     % why not?
     No match. 
     
     % gotta light?
     No match. 
     
     % !1984
     1984: Event not found. # (on some systems) 
     
     % How's my lovemaking?
     Unmatched '. 
     
     % "How would you rate Bush's incompetence? 
     Unmatched ". 
     
     % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
     Missing ]. 
     
     % [Where is my brain?
     Missing ]. 
     
     % ^How did the sex change^ operation go? 
     Modifier failed. 
     
     % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? 
     Too many ('s. 
     
     % man: why did you get a divorce?
     man:: Too many arguments. 
     
     % %blow
     %blow: No such job. 
     
     % \(-
     (-: Command not found. 
     
     % sh
     $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense 
     no sense in pretending!
     $ mkdir matter; cat >matter
     matter: cannot create 
     
     % cd /tmp
     % touch this; chmod 000 this
     % ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
     % U this
     U: cannot touch this: no write permission 
     
     % rm meese-ethics
     rm: meese-ethics nonexistent 
     
     % ar m God
     ar: God does not exist 
     
     % make love
     Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. 
     
     Supposedly on older Sun's make will also tell you
     
     Make: Don't know how to make love. How about war instead?
     
     % sleep with me
     bad character 
     
     % ^What is saccharine?
     Bad substitute. 
     
     % drink yellow_pages
     yellow_pages: Is a directory 
     
     %touch me
     %chmod 000 me
     %touch me
     touch: cannot touch me: permission denied 
     
     % ar x "my love life"
     ar: my love life does not exist 
     
     % ar x "matey, the treasure"
     ar: matey, the treasure does not exist 
     
     % talk Gorvachev@Kremlin
     talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address. 
     
     % talk Comrade Khruchev
     [Your party is not logged on] 
     
     Dec 15, 1994 - kohli@iamexwi.unibe.ch