Fun with the UNIX Shell Now for some fun things you can do with your unix account. You say your bored...well try these fun and neat things with your shell acount or unix login... Unix-Jokes % make fire Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop. % why not? No match. % gotta light? No match. % !1984 1984: Event not found. # (on some systems) % How's my lovemaking? Unmatched '. % "How would you rate Bush's incompetence? Unmatched ". % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ]. % [Where is my brain? Missing ]. % ^How did the sex change^ operation go? Modifier failed. % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? Too many ('s. % man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments. % %blow %blow: No such job. % \(- (-: Command not found. % sh $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense no sense in pretending! $ mkdir matter; cat >matter matter: cannot create % cd /tmp % touch this; chmod 000 this % ln -s /usr/bin/touch U % U this U: cannot touch this: no write permission % rm meese-ethics rm: meese-ethics nonexistent % ar m God ar: God does not exist % make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. Supposedly on older Sun's make will also tell you Make: Don't know how to make love. How about war instead? % sleep with me bad character % ^What is saccharine? Bad substitute. % drink yellow_pages yellow_pages: Is a directory %touch me %chmod 000 me %touch me touch: cannot touch me: permission denied % ar x "my love life" ar: my love life does not exist % ar x "matey, the treasure" ar: matey, the treasure does not exist % talk Gorvachev@Kremlin talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address. % talk Comrade Khruchev [Your party is not logged on] Dec 15, 1994 - kohli@iamexwi.unibe.ch