You Might be a Geek if...
     
Author:  Kevin Inscoe 
     
If your computer costs more than your car...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If your idea of a good date is dinner and a .MOVie (or .MPeGie)...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you mow your lawn and find a VT100...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you have a bumper sticker on your car that reads: 
"A BAD DAY PROGRAMMING IS BETTER THAN A GOOD DAY GOLFING"...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you take your wife out to see "Disclosure" and later complain you 
couldn't really enjoy the movie because laser printers don't sound 
like dot matrix printers...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you knew that Linus Torvalds now has an Alpha, Dilberts e-mail address, 
remember how to access the Western Digital RLL controller diagnostics from 
debug.com, who Kibo is, about green cards, Canter & Siegel and spam but 
didn't know the folks across the street have had 4 kids in 2 years...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you put emoticons on your memos...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you type-ahead at the ATM machine...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you ask at parties, "What's your URL?"...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you wire your computer to your CD player, 
bread maker and garage door opener when using 
the remote would be easier...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you point out bugs and design flaws in the 
POS system to the cashier...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you know the names of all the big software 
company CEO's but don't know the names of any 
of your nephews...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you hook your cable TV into your computer so 
you don't miss any important shows...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you rewired your house with category 5 twisted 
pair because your wife thinks coax is so tacky 
looking...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If when watching "Jurassic Park" you were annoyed by
that girl who said "This is a UNIX system...I know UNIX"...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you knew she was running FSN instead...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you knew what FSN even is...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If after a long day at work you spend more time with your 
computer than you do your wife...
     
You MIGHT be a geek. ( A divorced one at that) 
(Jim Crim, jec@ctinet.net)
     
     
If you need to use sunblock to avoid CRT burns on your face...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Gil Young, gjy@crc.com)
     
     
If you use SPF 120 when you go outside...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you think "Silicon Implants" means installing a math 
co-processor...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Troy Hill, troy_hill@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If you know that RAM DISK is not an installation procedure...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you stay up till 3am so you can get a good FTP site...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you send jokes via EMail.
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Garret Red-Fish-and-Legend-in-his-own-time Gordon, garret_gordon@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If you hear about this NEW, DEADLY, WIDESPREAD, UNSTOPPABLE E-mail virus that 
will crush your computer called GOOD TIMES, and immediately shrug it off,
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Gil Young, gjy@crc.com)
     
     
If you drive a moped to work with a leather jacket that reads, 
"Don't I look awesome on my hogg!!!"
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Jim Crim, jec@ctinet.net)
     
     
If you have contributed more than two jokes to the "YMBAG" list,
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Eddie "And-he-has" Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If your baby's first words were "Mama", "Dada", and "Sysadmin"
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If you have a UPS on your television,
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If you have a UPS on your clock radio,
     
You MIGHT be a geek.  (Apologies to K. Korb) 
(Eddie Offermann, eddie_offermann@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If you configure the UNIX server to call your pager at 5am 
because your too cheap to buy an alarm clock (and besides 
it's cool!)
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you receive an e-mail from Kibo...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you compile programs by doing
% cat /dev/console | cc
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you have your email address as your personalized license tag 
number...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Dave Goodson, dave_goodson@mail.crc.com)
     
     
If you have memorized your Drivers License in HEX...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
(Kevin 208-203-3E-194-0 Inscoe, kevin@inscoe.org)
     
     
If you receive more e-mail then postal mail...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you know that ROT-13 is not a movie rating...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you *KNOW* where the "easter eggs" are...
     
You MIGHT be a geek.
     
     
If you maintain all your clocks at within precisely +/- ~10 usecs of 
the government's cesium-atomic clock time (even the microwave)...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
(Kevin "Resident Horrologist" Inscoe, kevin@inscoe.org)
     
     
If someone stops you after speaking for 20 minutes and says: 
"Gee, I just wanted to know how to format this floppy disk!?... 
[Do I REALLY nead a C compiler for this??]
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you cross-link the tmp file system with the null device...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you yawn while reading the 2600 Magazine...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you missed dinner because of a nagging bug...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you missed work because of a nagging bug...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you missed your wedding because of a nagging bug...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you missed your life because of a nagging bug...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If you make kernal patches to avoid program bugs...
     
You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
If things like clean clothes and personal hygene get in the way 
of your quality in life...
     
You MIGHT be a geek


If you use computer parts (especially slot covers) as sliding devices
while moving furnature or appliances that aren't related to computers...

You MIGHT be a geek
     
     
     
Please send your additions to kevin@inscoe.org!
     
     
Copyright @1995 Kevin P. Inscoe (kevin@inscoe.org) & Eddie Offermann 
(eoffermann@mail.crc.com)
     
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my harddrive??"