Top Ten Signs You Bought the Wrong Computer The biggest fear of any computer user is that you just blew several grand on a clunker that's not even fit for a boat anchor. So how can you tell you should have checked there first? Try these dead giveaways on for size: 10. The monitor is certified for low emissions by Jiffy Lube. 9. The logo on your receipt: International House of Lame Computers. 8. The infrared cordless keyboard has only 15 keys, and one of them is marked Fast Forward. 7. You see the salesman you bought it from hawking genuine Rolexes on street corners. 6. The sound board and speakers are a separate unit, and they receive only AM. 5. The ad slogan: Ronald McDonald just grew up. 4. It has only two expansion slots, and they just popped up acouple of rounds of toast. 3. It's labeled "energy saving" only because there's no powersupply. 2. You just got another one with your Happy Meal. 1. The sticker reads "nothing of value inside."